What To Do When You Have Buyer’s Remorse

For years Denis and I lusted after the Steamer Bar Cabinet at Crate and Barrel.

Whenever we would stop in the store and see it, my husband would look it over, opening it and testing it out. And every time he would realize that it really is just as good as he remembered. There aren’t many cabinets that have this much storage space, so it’s really a special piece.

But it was $1300 and we could never quite justify the expense. But I kept my eyes out for it on craigslist and other secondhand apps like LetGo.

Well, I finally found it in good condition (or so I thought, it actually turned out to smell like cigarette smoke, which I’m working on fixing) and pulled the trigger on it.

I was SO EXCITED. Denis had taken Benji to the doctor and I organized the whole thing so that it was delivered (via the Lugg moving app) while he was gone and he was totally surprised, which felt great!

But the more I looked at it in our home, the more I started to lose confidence. 

I realized it wasn’t everything I imagined it would be. Mostly because it didn’t feel like it fit well with our space.

I rolled it all around the room (it has wheels on the bottom), but it didn’t seem to fit anywhere. It was so frustrating because everything we have has been so easy to arrange. 

I think one of the problems is the color of the wood. I know that when you’re mixing wood tones, you need to pick a dominant wood tone.

Our dominant wood tone is currently a warm walnut, but I wasn’t thrilled about that (haven’t I outgrown mid-century focused walnut? I’m sure everyone has had this thought at some point, right? JK I know I’m weird) and thought I could change it. Once the cabinet came in, I realized that the main floor was designed around this warm walnut and there was no changing it. With the pendant lamps, the banisters, the kitchen cabinets, and our media console, the warm walnut is here to stay.

(The pendant lights are actually a darker walnut than they look in this photo.)

Would it have been better if we could have bought the new version of the piece from Crate & Barrel?

That might have worked better but with delivery and tax, that would have been about $2K. More than twice what we spent on this piece. Plus, I really didn’t want something that felt too matchy-matchy.

OPTION 2: STYLE IT

Styling it can make it feel less out of place and it’s often the difference between how things look on Instagram or in stores and how things look like in our homes. I’m doing this by moving some other things around so the cabinet feels a little more at home in its own space instead of just sticking out like a sore thumb against the wall.

Without the baskets, the cabinet looks harsh and alone, but now it has friends! The baskets help your eye transition as it travels across the room/along the wall. The color of the baskets is similar to the wall and the floor, so it doesn’t introduce anything too attention grabbing.

OPTION 3: CHANGE OTHER AREAS

This makes the most sense if you love your new piece and there are some other pieces you’re less in love with.

Change out the kitchen hardware.

Right now the hardware in the kitchen is this not-very-nice stainless steel/nickel color. Bringing the brass from the cabinet into the kitchen could help connect the two spaces more. 

Replace the dining chairs:

I have wanted new dining chairs ever since we bought these. That sounds bad, but they came with the table (another craigslist score). Unfortunately, dining chairs are crazy expensive. My plan had always been to do black spindle chairs or cane and black wishbone chairs but now that I’m realizing how much the walnut dominates the room, I’m not so sure. Because we move so often, I’m hesitant to lean too heavily into this warm walnut. Clearly, I’m not ready to make a decision on new chairs yet, which is good because I’m also not ready to spend $1K+ on them right now. 

Replace the rug:

Maybe this is wishful thinking but I think that changing the rug could also help make the cabinet seem more at home in the space. I say wishful thinking because I’ve been wanting to switch out the rug almost since we moved in. I’d love something with a little more gusto to it than our cream rug and a 9x12 would look so much better than an 8x10. Fortunately, I think Denis is coming around because he keeps mentioning how cream rugs and toddlers don’t go together. 

Add a tree:

This is a little different from what we’ve been talking about so far. Instead of helping your eye continue across the room and softening the contrast, a taller tree could help tell your eye understand “oh, things are changing, there’s a tall thing stopping my eye before it moves on.” It also might help with the difference in height between the kitchen counter and the cabinet. 

I’ve also noticed that everything now looks very store-bought and rectangular. I want to make the space feel more custom. To do that, I think I need art and plants. And maybe a new rug? ;-)

But enough about me and my never-ending shopping list!

OPTION 4: RETURN IT OR RESELL IT

Sometimes you just can’t make something work. It’s such a bummer and if it’s something I really wanted and was a big purchase, it can hurt my confidence in my own design skills or taste. I start thinking, What made me think this would work?! Why didn’t I know it wouldn’t work? Should I just give up? Obviously that’s a little dramatic, but being stoic has never been my strength.

If your remorse is centered around something returnable, get that back in the car and back to the store. Even if it’s out of its packaging. Try returning it. As someone who always assumes a return needs to be in mint condition, I’ve often been surprised by what stores will take back.

If you can’t return it, resell it. Reselling home furnishings is whole other post unto itself, but here’s a quickie tutorial on what I recommend. Use Craigslist, LetGo, and other secondhand apps. When you list it, mention that it’s brand new. You can try to sell it for it’s original price and mention to buyers that they’re getting a deal without having to pay sales tax or shipping. Sometimes that will work.

But usually, the people who are looking for nicer pieces on these apps aren’t turning to second hand because they don’t want to pay tax. They want or need a better deal. That’s why I recommend knocking up to 30% off the original price. Obviously, it’s up to you and how quickly you want to sell, but that’s what I’ve found to be most helpful in unloading an item faster. Yes, it stings to sell it at a loss, but keeping your piece around for months while you try to find a buyer willing to pay full price isn’t fun and it’s just a constant reminder that things didn’t go the way you wanted.

What about you, readers? Do you have any tricks to share for when you have buyer’s remorse?